Patience is not my virtue. Blame it on my Irish heritage. Blame it on my Scottish heritage. I do not do well when I have to wait. Whether it is waiting three and a half months to hear back about your dream job while you are unemployed. Whether it is waiting for a package to arrive. Whether it is waiting for a baby to arrive! I need to know what to expect, or how to plan, and I crave scheduling.
I have a new waiting game to play. And I have found it to be one of the more frustrating, because there are many unknowns. Although most of you are already aware about what I'm talking about, I have avoided public discussion of it. About a month ago I found out the reasons of why my body didn't feel right for the past two years. Rheumatoid Arthritis. I really had no idea what that meant, just how it felt. When I hear anything involving "arthritis" I picture an 89 year old woman, hunched over, with her knotty fingers grasping her walking cane!
What does this mean? Currently, it means most days start with pain and stiffness in my joints, particularly my feet and back. My hands are slowly starting to feel it, also. And you know how you feel a day or two before you get the flu or strep, where your whole body aches? That is the only way I can describe it. Simple tasks like folding laundry or picking up kids toys or playing the piano become slowed and painful. Add in my 20 pound medicine ball I'm smuggling under my shirt, and housework becomes a real fiasco!
So why is this my new waiting game? There are pharmaceutical treatments which can make a huge affect on most patients. BUT, you can't be pregnant, nursing or trying to have a baby while on the medicine. Therefore, I have to wait till the baby is due to find real relief. I have been doing as much "pain management" as a pregnant woman can, but the side effects of that is dizziness and nauseousness. So it is a definite trade off! So I have to wait. Also, each case is different, and the disease has a broad spectrum of severity. I will really have no idea how much it will affect me until after the baby comes. So I have to wait. And like I've said before, I am not good at waiting!
7 comments:
Oh Sarah! I'm so sorry about your health. That must be very difficult especially being pregnant! We stopped in Rexburg on our way back east and we thought a lot about you guys. Things have changed so much over there. Hang in there and I'm slightly jealous your due date is before mine, the waddling and 5 point turns to turn over in bed are getting old :)
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I hate the waiting game too.
I am so sorry you have to go through this trial. It is hard to know that you have something that is painful and can be so different to each patient. I know this from my own experience. One thing you can be grateful for is that you have been blessed with almost 3 wonderful beautiful children, before the horrible medication and trial and error. Because during it, babies are not an option. I hurt for you, and you are in our prayers. Remember, God is with you through all of it.
I'm so sorry. :o( I think I have Fibromyalgia and so I understand that achy feeling.. it really hurts too! I think the worst part is when I wake up at night because I ache so much..
Anyway, probably TMI but I have an IUD and really like it. Might be a good "No more babies for now" option.
breathe...just sit back and take a deep breath! you are ah-mazing and i know you can get through anything! also rely on your friends...let us know when you need help...even if it's to come over and pick up toys! we are all here for you!
So sorry to hear about this. Glad to hear that you may get some relief and be able to start some treatment once the baby comes. If you need any help w/the kids our house please call us. Being pregnant is hard enough without other health issues.
Waiting, waiting, waiting, yuck! I feel for you!! Don't worry, I'll be there for you after you have Brooklyn just like Michael Jackson was there in the song, "I'll be there." :) Love you, Sar!
Post a Comment