Matthew 7:1-2

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged"


Bless me Father, for I have sinned.... isn't that how confessionals typically go in the movies? This is not necessarily a confession, more an admission of my imperfections. Shocking, I know. I'm not perfect! (Ryan doesn't read this blog regularly, so don't tell him I said that!) What am I confessing exactly? The scripture says it perfectly. "Judge not, that ye be not judged". I thought I understood the meaning of that concept before I had kids, but something happens when you learn from experience.

For example, the grocery store. I remember as a single young adult, with zero cares or responsibilities in the world, being stuck behind a mother with young kids in the grocery store. While she barely managed her unruly children, I was thinking, "I will never let my child have a snotty nose, sticky hands or talk louder than an 'inside voice'. It looks like she is just ignoring their outrageous behavior. It all has to do with parenting. I will be a much better parent than her." Flash forward seven years, I am finally checking out at our grocery store. Brooklyn's nose is yucky from being congested from her teeth coming in, Cannon's hands and face sticky from the donut I bribed him with. I am paying more attention to the coupons I'm giving the checker than my kids, when I notice the twenty something girl with a basket with gum, bread, Propel, cheese and cereal. She is wearing a familiar smirk. She is looking at me, the way I looked at that poor young mom years earlier. She is judging me, the way I judged the unknown mom.

Next example, Church. There is some divine reason our Church meetings last three long hours on Sunday. I am not tuned in as to why, but we faithfully attend, and Ryan insists on being early instead of sneaking in halfway through. For the first four years of parenthood, we had a cakewalk. Brenna was not perfect, but she was ideal. We took her everywhere with us. She sat quietly in movies. She carefully ate at restaurants. She stuck to our sides without us asking her to. Church was no exception. She quietly colored, ate snacks, or played with reverent toys. During one such peaceful sacrament meeting, we were immediately disturbed by the screaming of a three year old boy. He had climbed about three pews ahead, disrupted another family, started screaming when he was being retrieved, throwing toys, treats and threats at all those around him. I remember looking at Brenna sitting peacefully, thinking, "See what good parenting does? Those parents can learn a few tips from us." You can see where I'm going with this. Cannon seems to believe that reverent means act like it is a circus. I have had to pick up scattered Goldfish, Ryan has caught flying stray cars, and we are constantly "shssshshhhh-ing!" him. We even have a classroom across from the chapel with a "loud chair" where he sits when he is too loud for the services. Thankfully we have a VERY understanding ward, and I have had few looks of irritation. But Cannon has been a great reminder for how I judged mothers with over-energized children.

Lastly, teenagers. This special breed of people frightens me. I hope my offspring will jump from prepubescent to post-adolescent, with no stops in the middle. I don't want to deal with modesty, morality, profanity, curfews, cell phones, texting, puppy love, hormones, ALL OF IT! I know it will be payback for my youth. And I am very careful with my thoughts while lingering on the topics of teenagers with my friends. I am hoping that my lack of judgement on others will somehow alleviate any judgement passed on my future teenagers. All of us are guilty of judging others. Although it was in reference to a different topic, Elder Bednar while he was the President of BYU-I, has said "If you think it won't happen to you, it will!" Meaning, if your pride places you above others or even worse, sin, then that will be your first step into self-destruction. Pride and judgement go hand in hand, and I was guilty of both.

This is one lesson that seems to keep presenting and re-presenting itself to me. And I hope I have learned from past mistakes, and will not repeat it.